25 January 2010

The Case of the Squishy Bag

I still have no explanation for the events I am about to describe. Feel free to try and make sense of things for me in the comments section. I need help.

It's Saturday evening around 6. I'm leaving my brother's house in a bit of a hurry, because I think I'm going to be late. I'm supposed to be at Sherry's in about ten minutes. If nothing out of the ordinary happens I should be able to swing this. As I am pulling out of the driveway, I notice a white plastic bag on the front lawn. Odd, when I walked the dog a few hours ago that wasn't there. I wonder what's in it. I shut off the car and go to investigate.

As I get closer I see that the bag is tied in a knot. I poked the bag. It was squishy! I am a little grossed out, but above all things I am curious. I untie the knot and open up the bag. HOT DOGS! The bag is full of hot dogs! Now, I'm not talking the Oscar Meyer pre-packaged kind, these are straight up deli-style, linked at the ends and everything. They are not packaged, not frozen, they are just there, loose in this plastic bag that seems to have mysteriously appeared in my brother's front lawn.

At this point, I am grossed out because I just squished some random hot dog. I am also laughing because this doesn't make any sense. I realize I am now late. I know I have to throw the hot dogs out, but my brother's garbage cans seemed so far away- behind the gate and by the garage. No time, no time! In one of my less sensible moments, I throw the hot dogs into my car and drive to Sherry's house.

I still have no explanation. I've been pondering this doozey for two days now and haven't come up with a thing. The bag wasn't on the front porch like someone had left it there, and it wasn't close enough to the side walk for someone to have accidentally dropped it. It was sitting in the front lawn, midway between the sidewalk and the house. I ask you to put on your best Nancy Drew / Hardy Boy sleuthing cap and try and figure this one out for me.


mushroom said...

This is so odd and amusing. I call hot dog fairy.

Costanza Fan said...

That is exactly what I said after I heard this story. The hot dog fairy is always watching...

Amanda said...

Okay, I accept this theory. Though, if the hot dog fairy is reading, I'd rather she / he not leave things in the yard. It's unsanitary.


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